don't look down at me... please.

people ask me, "what are you going to do?"

i say: i wanna apply to medical school.

people often then ask, "do you have a backup?"

i say: no, i can't imagine myself doing anything else.

people: you should have a backup, what if you don't get in?

i say: i'll think about it. thanks.

i'm actually thinking: you are not my life advisor, i am the author and editor of my own life manual. i'm not egocentric, i listen and learn. but please don't judge me on what i can and cannot do. don't look down at me. don't bring me down with your degrading comments. all you have to say is, "whether or not you get in tracy, you'll still be fabulous". and mean it, because i can tell if you do or not. because at times when my self-esteem wavers and threatens to fall, i need people who believe in my fabulous-ness, even when i don't believe in it myself.

one my friends said to me a long time ago, "you wanna be a doctor tracy? you know, just keeping it real. we're from thurgood, bayview/hunter's point, we're not supposed to be doctors. that's just our life."

please don't place the constraints you have on yourself onto my life. thanks.

little old me,
tracy